Never Let Go

Occasionally, one will find themselves lost in a moment, caught up in something they never saw coming or even fully understood why or even what was happening. That moment happened to me this evening.

As I drove Ella home from a brief visit with Mommy at the hospital, I reached over to secure the pacy in Ella’s mouth when as I was letting go she grabbed my finger. Her four long, precious fingers locked around mine. She locked her grip with her little thumb. Tears welled up in my eyes as I felt her grip tighten. Her little fingers pressed firmly around mine effectively communicated that her intention was to never let go. She needed her daddy and holding his finger was just enough to satisfy. As she squeezed my finger it was as if she was saying to me, “Daddy, never let go.” I whispered to my daughter that I would never let go. Actually, there is no way I could ever let go.

Indeed, I will never let go of the love that I feel for her. I will never let go of the joy she brings to my life. I will never let go of the precious smile that lights up the room. I will never let go the happiness that I can’t even begin to explain. I will never let go of the precious gift of life I have been generously given. I will never let go of you Ella. You have my heart, my life little one... I beg you, never let go.

Play Time

Sara and I decided tonight that the reason Ella has postponed her entrance to the world is due to a lack of play on our part. We did not come to this conclusion lightly. Allow me to explain.

The past few days, Ella has been toying with us. Playing with our minds and emotions. One would think she had read the textbook on things to do before birth. She was meeting all the right indicators... everything seemed in place for the big event. The stage was set but the star of the show got cold feet.

This evening as Sara was getting ready to go to work, we decided that two could "play" this game. We tag-teamed. Determined that if play is what she wanted play is what she would get. We spent close to probably 30 to 45 minutes just poking her and pushing her back and forth (gently of course). All the while, she played back. A kick here, a shift there, at one point we even got her to put her legs back under her belly (we know this because we couldn't find the leg anywhere). That's when we realized Ella was done with play time. The mommy and daddy were fun but enough was enough. She needed her beauty rest I suppose, either that or we bored her.

The reality at this point is Sara will continue playing the game. Ella doesn't realize how competitive her mommy is and can be. Ella raised the stakes. Now, the mommy is playing for keeps or at least to start labor. It will be interesting to see who gives first. Both parties involved, I know, are strong-willed and determined. Neither of them will get the best of the other easily. The game is on. Both Sara and Ella are in it to win it. The good news for Sara, Ella's already got a head down (yes, she's head down). The good news for Ella, play time happens regardless if she's in the womb or out. Ella, mommy and daddy are ready for some real play time on this side of things. Join us and see just how much fun we can be. We dare you.

Failed Escape

Little Ella has been actively attempting to make her escape as of late. However, she seems to be as hard headed as her father and neglects to ask for directions. The past few nights, Sara and I have been entertained by Ella pushing hard against Sara's belly to the point, you can tell she can't stretch any further, neither will Sara's skin. I must clarify, the experience has been entertaining for me, painful for Sara.

I commented to Sara that it almost seems that Ella pulls on the umbilical cord in hopes that it will release her from her one bedroom apartment. Or she's attempting to repel out of the womb with it. I can't tell you how many times we have told her that she won't fit through Sara's belly button. Our communication with her is as futile as her countless attempts to escape using proven failed routes and methods. I must admit, I appreciate her imagination and ingenuity but I wish she would ditch the stubbornness. I am fearful of what it means for us once she arrives.

Two nights ago, we caught her in the act. While she pushed relentlessly against Sara's belly, we actually caught her foot (take my word for it, it was a foot). After Sara kindly pointed out where the foot was I immediately grabbed it. You could tell this caught Ella by surprise. She quickly jerked her foot back and kicked back as if to say, "Hey cut that out!" I can only imagine she got this mean look on her face, rolled her eyes, and crossed her arms in disgust all the while thinking to herself, "What nerve those crazy folks have... grabbing my foot. Who do they think they are, that's my foot."

Our little one continues to make her presence known even in her absence. The Lord only knows, what type of show she will put on once she arrives. If she entertains us this much now, I can only imagine the countless hours of sheer joy and excitement we will experience once she's here. Until then, we wait and I attempt to catalogue the memories.