Considering options...

So, upon thinking about the situation, I realized Ella has no real incentive to leave her current location. Why would you want to leave a consistently warm place, where your every need is met at your demand. Sure, it's an itty bitty living space, but the essentials are there and you don't have to work for any of it. Movement for the most part tends to be effortless thanks to all of the fluid you're floating in. You pack on pounds daily and get this... it's expected. Someone observes you from a distance and gets absurdly excited about every little thing you do. The only downside is you occasionally have to entertain the sudden bump from people pushing on you to feel you move or kick. So your personal space gets invaded on occasion... big deal right?

The way I see it, Ella finds herself considering her options at this moment. Leave the warm known for a most uncertain unknown. Do I really want to join these two crazy people on the outside who keep referring to themselves as "mommy" and "daddy" respectively. I can hear her thoughts now, "the mommy one seems to be okay. It appears that I am closest to her. Pretty sure that's her heartbeat I hear. Either that or somebody keeps a really good beat. I'm also pretty sure she's the one taking care of me, making sure I get what I need. It's that daddy guy I'm not certain about. The daddy's voice sounds different... sounds deeper. I find it soothing actually. The daddy keeps saying I'm his little girl, I'm not sure what that is, but I know I like to hear him talk. I've heard the mommy and daddy talking a good bit now and I know one thing for sure they laugh a lot at this thing called Jack. I've also heard them talk about loving one another and I'm pretty sure that's a good thing. My only concern... the daddy makes up weird songs and his singing is ah, okay at best... I'm afraid that may embarrass me a little. It clearly embarrasses the mommy."

Clearly, Ella needs to consider her options. Deciding to join Sara and I out her in the real world is a big decision and not one that should be rushed. You weigh those options sweetheart. The mommy and the daddy will be here waiting, albeit impatiently and anxiously. This not the time to be like your mother... just make up your mind. That's a joke Ella. Jokes are those things that the mommy and the daddy laugh about sometimes. Take your time, just get here quickly would you!

The reality being, the joke is on the mommy and the daddy. Ella runs the show and she knows it. She already thrives off that attention and power. Oh my, our lives are ruined... in the best way possible of course. Just know little Ella, your current living space is only going to get smaller and smaller... think about that.

Failed Escape

Little Ella has been actively attempting to make her escape as of late. However, she seems to be as hard headed as her father and neglects to ask for directions. The past few nights, Sara and I have been entertained by Ella pushing hard against Sara's belly to the point, you can tell she can't stretch any further, neither will Sara's skin. I must clarify, the experience has been entertaining for me, painful for Sara.

I commented to Sara that it almost seems that Ella pulls on the umbilical cord in hopes that it will release her from her one bedroom apartment. Or she's attempting to repel out of the womb with it. I can't tell you how many times we have told her that she won't fit through Sara's belly button. Our communication with her is as futile as her countless attempts to escape using proven failed routes and methods. I must admit, I appreciate her imagination and ingenuity but I wish she would ditch the stubbornness. I am fearful of what it means for us once she arrives.

Two nights ago, we caught her in the act. While she pushed relentlessly against Sara's belly, we actually caught her foot (take my word for it, it was a foot). After Sara kindly pointed out where the foot was I immediately grabbed it. You could tell this caught Ella by surprise. She quickly jerked her foot back and kicked back as if to say, "Hey cut that out!" I can only imagine she got this mean look on her face, rolled her eyes, and crossed her arms in disgust all the while thinking to herself, "What nerve those crazy folks have... grabbing my foot. Who do they think they are, that's my foot."

Our little one continues to make her presence known even in her absence. The Lord only knows, what type of show she will put on once she arrives. If she entertains us this much now, I can only imagine the countless hours of sheer joy and excitement we will experience once she's here. Until then, we wait and I attempt to catalogue the memories.

A Leg Up

The other night, while Sara and I waited for her parents to arrive, we got an unexpected surprise. As we sat on the couch watching our dog Jack be frightened to death by a purple exercise ball, Ella decided to be active. She squirmed, kicked, and shifted almost as if she was playing jump rope with her umbilical cord. Sara's belly looked like she had been possessed by some stomach alien that desperately sought to get out.

The unexpected surprise came when we actually felt out an appendage. We could actually feel one of Ella's limbs. Sara thinks it was an arm, I believe it to have been a leg, neither of us are certain one way or the other. But we are certain it wasn't a butt, back, or head. Talk about a fun experience... I think I goosed Ella's knee. She must take after my Granddaddy. He's real sensitive on his knees. I say that because as soon as I pinched what I believe to be a leg, she immediately drew it back. As quickly as we discovered the limb, it disappeared. Ella thought she had gotten a leg up on us... okay, so she did. Nonetheless, we are thankful to have had a that brief moment to feel our precious little girl's leg (or arm) even if we did goose her.

I realize this probably seems insignificant to most people, but to Sara and I it was a moment to cherish. A simple moment of joy. A simple moment of love. A simple moment where we connected with our developing baby, our little girl. In our world, that's huge. In our world, that moment had meaning because we got to share it together. Our simple experience may not give us a leg up in parenting but at least it gives us a leg up in memories we will never forget. Thanks Ella for getting a leg up and letting us connect with you and each other.

How The Christmas Cheaters Stole Christmas Eve Gift

One of my favorite family Christmas traditions involves a little competition we call the "Christmas Eve gift" game. Allow me to explain to those of you who may be unfamiliar with the game just how it works. The main goal is to say to another member of the family "Christmas Eve Gift" before they say it to you. In some traditions you are actually supposed to present the winner with a small gift, but we just play for fun and bragging rights. The rules are simple: you must say it to the person either over the phone or in person. Easy enough right?

Well, a few member of my beloved family have decided to use modern technology and social media to advance their gameplay. Now some would say that I am just upset that I did not think of it first. This is totally false. Believe me friends, I have thought about it, contemplated long and hard, and considered it an unfair option. I am technology and social media geek. One would have to be a fool to believe that I had not already thought of such a surprise attach. The fact that others would even consider such a thing, reveal just how little they know about my devious and brilliant ways.

I just wanted my heart and mind to be clear on this issue of cheating the game. You Grinches have stolen the Christmas Even gift. My hope remains that after reading my blog and contemplating your actions you will reconsider your wicked ways. I hold out hope for you all, I mean, even the Grinch relented. Don't tell me that your hearts are about three sizes too small.

You can bah-humbug me all you want, but this is simply how I feel. I love how modern technology has improved and simplified our lives, but using it to steal the Christmas Eve Gift game is just unacceptable. Ah, enough has been said. I bid you ado and a Christmas Eve gift too.

If I Couldn't...

A Senseless Poem

If I couldn't drink... would I still thirst for Him?

If I couldn't eat... would I still hunger for Him?

If I couldn't hear... would I still listen to Him?

If I couldn't speak... would I still talk to Him?

If I couldn't walk... would I still run to Him?

If I couldn't see... would I still look to Him?

If I couldn't read... would I still want Him to write to me?

If I couldn't feel... would I still want to touch Him?

If I couldn't perhaps for once I would.

Kids Ask the Best Questions

This morning as I made my way into work, I went to visit the mall’s public restroom before clocking in. As I turned down the long corridor that leads to restrooms, I saw a little girl and her mom exit the ladies restroom at the end of the long stretch. They were making their way back into the mall and I was walking down to the men’s room. We passed without a word to one another. Nothing out of the ordinary. However, after we passed each other, I heard the little girl ask, “Mom, why didn’t you say hi to him?” The mom responded kindly to her daughter, “Well honey, I didn’t know him.”

That little girl’s question has haunted me all day. Why didn’t I say hello? Would I had offended anyone by just kindly saying hello. Would I have ruined someone’s day by simply acknowledging their presence as we passed? In that little girl’s innocence it only made sense that you say hello to everyone. No one is too good or not good enough to be acknowledged whether you know them or not.

I have been challenged today... by a little girl. A little girl who sees a much smaller world than I do. A little girl who’s less worried about if anyone responds back as long they are acknowledged. A little girl who gets the big picture even in if only in an innocent way. Thank you little girl for asking the question. Now, I need to respond.

So, I dare ask... did you pass someone today... sure you did. But why didn’t you say hi to them?

The Battle Rages

I haven't written prose in quite a while, this may very well been my last attempt, however, as I was digging through some of my old documents, I stumbled upon this little treasure. It was written almost 2 years ago. I hope some will find encouragement from reading. Grace be with you all.

The Battle Rages

11/12/05

Demons are lurking

Pressing for the moment of attack

With dark ambitions

Evil is their only intent.

Angels encamp around me

Prepared to heal my wounds

Or mount me on eagle’s wings

Their desire and mine is the One’s command

Obedience our only response.

Suffering is upon me

Heavy it weighs upon my soul

I know not the outcome

But I wait upon the Lord

He is my strength, my shield

He will sustain me.

Alas, the battle rages

Torment has just begun

But my soul longs only deeper

For that pure and holy One

I will fight this fight

And run this race

It is only temporal

When I consider the eternal goal.

My heart may be tattered and beaten

My soul my take its wounds

But I will not be defeated

For I know that which stills my soul.

O Victorious Warrior,

Let not my road end here

But allow me grace to travel

Into the Promised Land.

There I will rest

And feast in glory

For I know I will never finish

But the war has been won

I celebrate not my triumph

But the One who conquered all.