The Recent Desert

As one who finds himself undone, I can't help but relate to you this part of my journey. Those of you who know me well, even some who don't know so well, have noticed a distinct change in character for AO. I have been reserved, guarded, and at times unresponsive. I have been physically exhausted and spiritually dry. Emotionally, I have truly felt nothing for months now. Needless to say, I have been miserable.

As Christians, we have a way of talking about our spiritual journey as valley and mountaintop experiences. The past year has been neither. I have been trekking through a desert. The Bible often refers to it as the wilderness. You may recall the Israelites wandered there for 40 years, Jesus himself spent time there. The desert is a wasteland, where one will feel abandoned, restless, and burned out. The sand will rub you raw, the sun will scorch your skin, and the dry air will leave you thirsty. It's no walk in the park, it's a struggle to survive.

I will confess, I have been weak, scared, and down right out of my mind at times. I did not see other footprints in the sand, but yet I know I was never alone, even though I felt that way many times. I do not believe God abandoned me but brought me to the desert for a reason. I needed the reserve pool of past spiritual successes to dry up. I needed to know what it meant to be completely spiritually hungry. I needed to be beat down and wore out. I needed to the old skin to be rubbed away. I needed to know that when there is nothing else, there is always God. I needed a to put everything else aside and rely solely on Him and Christ crucified. I needed renewal, but needed the long, hard road to find it.

I have not yet emerged from the desert, but I do see an oasis up ahead. I do not reset God for dragging me through the desert (mind you I could not say that up until just now). I thank God for knowing what I needed for renewal. There are times in our journey with God that we need to suffer the desert. My time is now. I have a very fresh perspective on the faithfulness of Jesus Christ, His provision, His timing, His call, His kingdom, and the life He gives us. Life with Christ is an adventure, anew everyday. Thank you Jesus, for my recent desert. I am nothing without you. I need you everyday. I am not alone for I could not survive alone. You meet my need and I praise you. You have suffered long with me and for me. I count my suffering as delight in the cause for you Kingdom. Thank you Jesus for counting my life worth it. May your grace and mercy fill my life, to your glory alone. Amen.