In Between... Still

I heard a wise pastor once say, "Alan, as a pastor, you will preach a sermon that will morph into your life sermon." I questioned, "What do you mean?" He responded, "A life sermon will be one that forever serves as Yahweh's message to you. It will be the sermon that engulfs and informs your being, your mission, and your soul." Oh, ok.

On December 28, 2008, I preached a sermon entitled In Between. Well, it may not prove to be my life sermon, but it certainly serves as my "right now" sermon. You can listen to In Between by clicking here.

So, yeah I am in between... still. I will be transparent with you and confess: I am in between infuriating anger and astounding compassion. In between wanting to throw in the towel and fight to the death. In between cursing and blessing. In between a moment of strength and a moment of weakness. In between confusion and peace. In between frustration and simply not giving a rip. In between second guessing and confidence. Dude, I am straight up IN BETWEEN.

Understand this post serves more as a therapeutic exercise than as a simple post. I am processing out loud. Yahweh and I are having it out and anyone who chooses to read this simply has the benefit of listening in on an engaging, ongoing, real conversation between a weak, broken child and his loving Father.

Father, I greatly desire to be obedient. I realize life is a movement of "in betweens". Now matter how hard I try I will always be in between, but I pray that you will give me power and faith to go forward, cross between the walls of strife that seek to overcome me. Yes, I hear you, I must keep moving. I will move and I will watch you move just as you did that day when the Egyptians chased the Israelites. I will move and I will watch you move just as you did on the day you put your son, Jesus Christ, on a god-forsaken tree to be crucified and die in place of sinners like me. I will move and I will watch you move as you did on the day the stone was rolled away from the tomb to reveal HE LIVES! I will move and I will watch for the day you move again in the return of your Son. Marantha! This time is yours Father, just as it always has, always is, and always will be. Do with it what You will. Into Your hands I give my life, my love, my all. In Christ's name, AMEN.