When She Cries

Few things tear at my heart like the tears of my beloved wife. As her face streaks, my heart breaks. Her hurt becomes my hurt even when I don't fully understand it. Because we are one, I don't just share her pain... her pain is my pain.

Tonight as I watched the tears roll, her lips quiver, and body shake, I felt it. Even though she correctly assessed that I did not fully understand, I felt it. I fight back tears even now as I write.

This evening, as my wife spoke with sheer honesty about her day to day job, I began to realize the immense weight that she carries. Allow me to share a portion of her struggle:

I am charged with convincing a teenage boy with a non-curable disease, that he will be okay. That he will pull through. That everything will be just fine... And in a day I will turn him over to the care of someone else. Like its just that easy... It's sweet you try to understand, but you don't.

Yes dear, you couldn't be more right. As she spoke those words, I realized just how much I don't understand. Tonight, once again I am undone. Undone in the best but most challenging way. I married to a magnificent woman, who I under appreciate and unintentionally neglect. Forgive me for my stupidity, dearest one.

My wife is my hero... a superhuman, who cares, truly cares about her patients. She takes patient care to whole new level. She actually cares about the patient (this in no way implies others don't).

Life and death are more than just sayings in her line of work. Life and death are realities she works in. Life and death are her profession. No, I do not understand. I love this woman... with all that I am and all that I have. What an honor to be called her husband. I am glad I get to be by her side... when she cries.